My name is Jen

Nashville is my home.

I love music.

I attend too many concerts. Wait, that's not possible.

Check out: countrymusiccares.net

Interests: Guitar, concerts, reading, movies, church, family, friends, etc.

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I doubt many people will take the time to read this & that’s okay.  I’m mostly just writing it for my own personal benefit to get some thoughts out.  I lost my granny yesterday, Friday, April 18, 2014.  I’ve never lost a close family member or friend, so I’ve really been unsure of how I would handle things.

I always find it interesting when people idealize someone after they’ve passed.  My granny wasn’t a saint.  She had her many flaws, but she was a good woman & she loved her family.  She worked hard her entire life.  She was one of the most giving people I’ve ever known.  She didn’t have much, but what she did have she was always willing to give away.  Granny didn’t go to church every Sunday, but she asked Jesus into her heart years ago, so I have no doubt where she is now.  She was never so happy as when she was around one of my cousin’s three kiddos.  She may have accidentally called Ella “Ellen” more times than I could count, but in her last days seeing them was one of the only ways to get a smile on her face.  I had always dreamed of the day when I could provide her with a great grandbaby & see the same reaction.  The pure joy that they brought her, but now that won’t happen & she also won’t see my wedding day, if that ever happens.  Ha!

I’ve been trying to think back to great memories of Granny.  When I was about 18 months she made me a pillow.  She never had much money, but she always did her best to give gifts, and make things for us.  I used to cary that pillow everywhere as a child.  I couldn’t sleep without it.  It should probably be embarrassing to admit, but I still have that pillow to this day.  If the house was on fire I’d literally grab my dog & that pillow & run out of the house.  It’s one of my most prized possessions.  One of my favorite stories my mom tells is how Granny taught me my first cussword.  When I was two Mom came home from work & asked what we had done that day, to which I replied, “We’ve been dipping cat shit.”  lol  Oh, Granny.  She wasn’t the best cook there ever was.  There were many times she’d bring brownies, cookies, etc.  You’d take a big bite & realize “Oh no… Hickory nuts.”  She had a hickory nut tree in her back yard & she was the type of woman that never let anything to waste.  She also never wasted a fish.  We’d take her fishing & she fry them all up and eat on them for days.  She’d never pass up a chance to go to Wendy’s to get a Frosty, or to go eat some catfish or fried chicken.

My granny was the epitome of a cat lady.  People would dump strays on her doorstep & she’d take them in and add them to the clan.  I spent many trips to Walmart hauling 4+ tubs of cat litter (& Poise pads) to the car.  I always loved going over when I grew up to play with a new litter of kittens.  Our cat that we had for years named Snoopy came from Granny.  She let us adopt him, but until he became ours he was thought to be a girl!  haha

In the last years her health has steadily declined.  She went from being completely independent (other than not being able to drive) to not being able to take care of herself.  It was so hard to see the woman who could even mow her own lawn way up into her 70’s, to not being able to hardly get around.  It was torture for her to have to be placed in a nursing home.  It was torture for us to see how much she hated it.  She developed cancer & we knew there wasn’t much time left, but to be honest that didn’t really prepare me.  My granny has been near death, and very sick many times, so I kept waiting for her to pull through.  I kept hoping that sparkle in her eye would return, but it didn’t.  Last Friday I felt like I needed to leave work an hour early so I could make it in time to travel home to visit her.  If I had left any later she would’ve already been in bed for the night.  When I arrived I asked her how she was doing.  The first thing she said to me was, “I’m ready to go home.”  She didn’t sound bitter.  She wasn’t upset, just matter of fact.  It really hurt my heart.  I’m not sure which home she meant.  I then showed her that I had snuck Blossom in to visit.  She sat next to her & gave her kisses.  Mom set out Granny some Cheez-Its.  Blossom kept crawling over Granny, grabbing a cracker, then walking back to sneakily eat it.  I’m so glad I got to see Granny laugh that night.  The next day we went back to visit & she was just miserable.  She was in pain, and didn’t fell & just wasn’t herself, but I’m so thankful I had those last two days with her.

I don’t believe in coincidence.  Everything happens for a reason.  I left last weekend knowing Granny wasn’t well, but still didn’t know it was her time quite yet.  I saw a preview for “Heaven is for Real” & remembered the book.  It’s been sitting on my shelf since shortly after it was released.  I have a bad habit of being excited & purchasing a book, but then not reading it for a while.  On Wednesday I decided it was time to read the book.  I read 2 chapters, then went to bed.  On Thursday I read the entire rest of the book. I laughed, I cried, I really enjoyed it.  On Friday afternoon I found out my granny passed away.  The book was still fresh on my mind.  When I heard the news, immediately little Colton’s descriptions of Heaven quickly came to mind.  I’ve always known Heaven is a real place, but the fact that I finished the book the day before my granny passed had given me renewed faith & an image in my mind.  I wish Granny could be here this Easter for us to celebrate with, but I know that she made it just in time for a front row seat for the biggest celebration ever in Heaven.  I serve a risen Savior & I have faith that I will see her again.  In the words of Carrie Underwood, “I will see you again.  This is not where it ends,” & I have so much peace in knowing that.  Until then I know she’ll be fishing in Heaven (her favorite thing in the whole world to do) & walked the streets of gold.


Thank you for anyone who took time to read about my granny.  She was a very special woman and I’m so thankful that one day we will be reunited & she’ll no longer be in pain.  Until then, I love you and miss you, Granny.  Don’t have too much fun without me.

XO,

~ Jen

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irresponsibleeyouth:

The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

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Source: crowzs

Oh hey trip to the Taylor Swift card aisle

Oh hey trip to the Taylor Swift card aisle

greys-abc:

Her face here. 

This made me choke up

greys-abc:

Her face here. 

This made me choke up

Source: naomigokce


"We really connect. She’s also a much better person than I am. So she’s constantly making me better."

"We really connect. She’s also a much better person than I am. So she’s constantly making me better."

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Source: somer-halders

(via fashionlungs)

Source: thecollegeprepster

alexxxedge:

Santa Monica Pier, California.


I can finally say I’ve been here. ❤️

alexxxedge:

Santa Monica Pier, California.

I can finally say I’ve been here. ❤️

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Source: alexxxedge

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xloveswift:

eyesopen:

eyesopen:

eyesopen:

eyesopen:

if you’re ever sad just remember that 

its been 705 days since taylor’s last vlog

968 days 

1,000 days 

THREE YEARS 

TODAY

WE FINALLY GOT ONE

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Source: eyesopen

"I have no self control in kitchen stores." - Surprising Gena (x)

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Source: teylurswifts

wishingforrightnow13:

I want to share about what happened Sunday, April 13th!
Backstory:
I have met Taylor several times since 2007. She knew who I was before Sunday (I want to clear this up from some  of the articles being posted.) In September at the last Red show in Nashville, I told Taylor I was engaged. She was so excited for me and took the “ring” picture and signed the card for Bryan & I. She asked me to “remind her about the wedding.”
A few weeks ago I sent Taylor a bridal shower invite and wedding save the date and told her I didn’t have wedding invites yet. I was anxiously waiting to see if she would ever get the cards. 
April 13:
I was in the hallway waiting for a friend to come who was lost looking for the room. I saw a girl coming toward me with a huge basket and stared confused who she was because I didn’t recognize her right away. I just stared at her trying to figure out why she was coming into my room haha. When she got closer she said “hi.” and I RAN to her and said “OMG WHAT” and I turned and SCREAMED “Abbeye” 3 times. Abbeye said she thought I broke my ankle because I sounded panicked hahaha. When Taylor walked in everyone was so in shock- and she kindly took pictures with everyone. She told me she couldn’t make the wedding so she wanted to surprise me here. She seemed SO excited to be there. She said she was tired but she slept on the plane. I thought this was a hi and bye thing- and she told me she was staying the whole time. Then we all sat down and ate (Bryan pulled up a chair next to me for her because she asked if she could sit by me :) ) She asked what you do at a bridal shower and said she had never been to one. We both had on Jimmy Choos (I wore my wedding shoes!) This came up because she said “I like your shoes” and I told her they were Jimmy and she said “mine are too! These are my only pair too- we must have a thing.” and I said “Yeah- they are my only pair too.” and everyone laughed. Next I went up in front and opened gifts- Taylor’s was first only because they had put it right in front of my chair- we didn’t realize it was hers. She apologized for going overboard she said she wasn’t sure what to get! She said she checked my registry and wanted to get me my PB chandelier, but it was backordered, so she went to William Sonoma instead. She was SO excited to give me my mixer. She said she has the same one and it’s her favorite. I have ALWAYS wanted the red one. I don’t know if my reaction was excited- but everything was so overwhelming I was trying to process it all. But I want her to know I have always wanted the red one and my mom said “pick a fun color” but I always loved the red. My aunt got me the mint green one I had asked for but I assured Taylor I would use hers and it would be on display. :) I got a card that sang ‘Today was a Fairytale” and I knew it was a singing card so I just peeked in and she said “It’s okay you can open it” so I opened it  and sang over dramatically and everyone laughed and she covered her face. haha  After the gifts we got cake and coffee. Taylor said the cake was amazing. (She also tried buckeyes for the first time and loved them!) People started to ask for pictures again, and she continued to talk to everyone. She seemed so happy for me and asked me several questions about the wedding- I showed her my dress, the tables, my brooch bouquet, my boots. She said it is going to be a beautiful wedding and don’t be nervous! She said I handled myself well during the shower so don’t get stressed at the wedding. We took the pic holding the LOVE letters my mom made. She loved all of our decor (Including the pic of her and I) and she took pictures of everything to show her mom (She said). She loved the mason jar centerpieces Bryan made and said he is a walking pinterest! ha! She also videoed a lot of the shower so she could remember it. The theme was “Loving him IS red” and she loved that. She told me she had to get back to NYC because her friend (Gracie) was on an ice skating tour and she promised her she would be out to see her. Then she had to be at MTV. I thanked her and hugged her one last time and she whispered “I love you.” and I whispered “I love you bigger” she looked at me and smiled, then waved to everyone and left. 
I can’t even imagine what she spent to do all this for me. For the gifts, for the cost to use her private plane to get here and back. She was running on no sleep. I can’t comprehend why she would do this but it makes me adore her more than I ever thought I could. She made sure the day was about me (That is why she pulled me in everyone’s photos). She told me several times I looked beautiful. She wanted to meet my bridal party and my family. She gave me so many hugs and the way she looked at me I knew she loved me and cared about me. It meant the world to me. I think she really enjoyed a “normal’ day. I don’t know why she went out of her way to do something so amazing- but I appreciate it more than I can express. Kayla pointed out that the letter I wrote her in September I quoted “I’ve been afraid of changing cause I’ve built my life around you.” I think this was Taylor’s way of reminding me it’s okay to grow up and move on. I will always support her and she will always be in my life. The people who are meant to be in your life will always find a way to stay there. 
Thank you, Taylor. I love you bigger. xo

wishingforrightnow13:

I want to share about what happened Sunday, April 13th!

Backstory:

I have met Taylor several times since 2007. She knew who I was before Sunday (I want to clear this up from some  of the articles being posted.) In September at the last Red show in Nashville, I told Taylor I was engaged. She was so excited for me and took the “ring” picture and signed the card for Bryan & I. She asked me to “remind her about the wedding.”

A few weeks ago I sent Taylor a bridal shower invite and wedding save the date and told her I didn’t have wedding invites yet. I was anxiously waiting to see if she would ever get the cards. 

April 13:

I was in the hallway waiting for a friend to come who was lost looking for the room. I saw a girl coming toward me with a huge basket and stared confused who she was because I didn’t recognize her right away. I just stared at her trying to figure out why she was coming into my room haha. When she got closer she said “hi.” and I RAN to her and said “OMG WHAT” and I turned and SCREAMED “Abbeye” 3 times. Abbeye said she thought I broke my ankle because I sounded panicked hahaha. When Taylor walked in everyone was so in shock- and she kindly took pictures with everyone. She told me she couldn’t make the wedding so she wanted to surprise me here. She seemed SO excited to be there. She said she was tired but she slept on the plane. I thought this was a hi and bye thing- and she told me she was staying the whole time. Then we all sat down and ate (Bryan pulled up a chair next to me for her because she asked if she could sit by me :) ) She asked what you do at a bridal shower and said she had never been to one. We both had on Jimmy Choos (I wore my wedding shoes!) This came up because she said “I like your shoes” and I told her they were Jimmy and she said “mine are too! These are my only pair too- we must have a thing.” and I said “Yeah- they are my only pair too.” and everyone laughed. Next I went up in front and opened gifts- Taylor’s was first only because they had put it right in front of my chair- we didn’t realize it was hers. She apologized for going overboard she said she wasn’t sure what to get! She said she checked my registry and wanted to get me my PB chandelier, but it was backordered, so she went to William Sonoma instead. She was SO excited to give me my mixer. She said she has the same one and it’s her favorite. I have ALWAYS wanted the red one. I don’t know if my reaction was excited- but everything was so overwhelming I was trying to process it all. But I want her to know I have always wanted the red one and my mom said “pick a fun color” but I always loved the red. My aunt got me the mint green one I had asked for but I assured Taylor I would use hers and it would be on display. :) I got a card that sang ‘Today was a Fairytale” and I knew it was a singing card so I just peeked in and she said “It’s okay you can open it” so I opened it  and sang over dramatically and everyone laughed and she covered her face. haha  After the gifts we got cake and coffee. Taylor said the cake was amazing. (She also tried buckeyes for the first time and loved them!) People started to ask for pictures again, and she continued to talk to everyone. She seemed so happy for me and asked me several questions about the wedding- I showed her my dress, the tables, my brooch bouquet, my boots. She said it is going to be a beautiful wedding and don’t be nervous! She said I handled myself well during the shower so don’t get stressed at the wedding. We took the pic holding the LOVE letters my mom made. She loved all of our decor (Including the pic of her and I) and she took pictures of everything to show her mom (She said). She loved the mason jar centerpieces Bryan made and said he is a walking pinterest! ha! She also videoed a lot of the shower so she could remember it. The theme was “Loving him IS red” and she loved that. She told me she had to get back to NYC because her friend (Gracie) was on an ice skating tour and she promised her she would be out to see her. Then she had to be at MTV. I thanked her and hugged her one last time and she whispered “I love you.” and I whispered “I love you bigger” she looked at me and smiled, then waved to everyone and left. 

I can’t even imagine what she spent to do all this for me. For the gifts, for the cost to use her private plane to get here and back. She was running on no sleep. I can’t comprehend why she would do this but it makes me adore her more than I ever thought I could. She made sure the day was about me (That is why she pulled me in everyone’s photos). She told me several times I looked beautiful. She wanted to meet my bridal party and my family. She gave me so many hugs and the way she looked at me I knew she loved me and cared about me. It meant the world to me. I think she really enjoyed a “normal’ day. I don’t know why she went out of her way to do something so amazing- but I appreciate it more than I can express. Kayla pointed out that the letter I wrote her in September I quoted “I’ve been afraid of changing cause I’ve built my life around you.” I think this was Taylor’s way of reminding me it’s okay to grow up and move on. I will always support her and she will always be in my life. The people who are meant to be in your life will always find a way to stay there. 

Thank you, Taylor. I love you bigger. xo

Source: wishingforrightnow13

(via meandmyblindoptimism)

Source: rubyredwisp


New #tfios still

New #tfios still

(via lydiamartys)

Source: drunkenhanna

Only way to live happily

Only way to live happily

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Source: michaela-margaret


The Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum’s new technology-enhanced exhibits include a 40-foot guitar, recording booth and a replica of Taylor Swift’s tour bus.

The Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum’s new technology-enhanced exhibits include a 40-foot guitar, recording booth and a replica of Taylor Swift’s tour bus.

Source: jencita

Lucy Hale and Joel Crouse sitting courtside at a Lakers vs Grizzlies game // April 13th,2014

They are so cute

(via usversusthm)

Source: cravinghale